Electric sheep.

Sometimes, it can be amusing to allow your thoughts to meander about your brain at 11:30 on a Thursday, a school night. But usually, it's a sign of a restless, anxious mind. I'm having trouble deciding which category I'm falling into.

I stay up pretty late, most nights - as is made evident by the sweeps of deep purple under my eyes. Everyone that I normally talk to goes to bed, and I find myself becoming envious. Hell, Sailor wishes me goodnight every night promptly in the 10 o clock to 10:30 range, turns over in bed, and is presumably fast asleep in a matter of minutes. I send a half-hearted goodnight, see you tomorrow, etc, etc, etc. I lay in bed, turn over, turn back, switch positions, become frustrated and ultimately sit up again.

I enjoy it when I have a good excuse for sleep deprivation. For example, Tech Week. Staying at the school every night until 10-10:30 is usually a bonafide excuse to teachers. You find yourself, with weighted eyelids and unwilling limbs, passed out on your Biology notes during a presentation on cell respiration. Three minutes before the bell for third block sounds, your seat partner nudges you awake, the teacher is looking at you with unbearably kind eyes. "Tech Week?"

Your response sounds as though the sound were traveling through wet pebbles. "Mmmhmm."

I wish I had an excuse for my regular lack of sleep. Insomnia? No - probably not. I think maybe my mind just works to anxiously. My thoughts don't behave in a nice, streamlined way. They're either pleasant and complacent, or they jolt about at a rate with which I can't keep up.

Did I turn in my Art and Society paper? Yes. Okay. Good. Was it good? Maybe. I hope so. Damn, I have to do research for my research paper. Okay. Where? Internet? Feminism in the 1960s, good topic? No, broad. Go tighter. Focus? Am I focused? I'm bored. Maybe I should check Facebook again.

I've reached the point where I absentmindedly focus on different points in my bedroom. I look through them, into myself. How many more hours till I get up to school? Maybe I'll try counting.

One, two, three, four, five, six.