It's been close to two months since I've posted, and this is only because my home computer can barely be considered functional. It's so degrading, being a tech nerd and having to deal with such faulty equipment in my own home. But alas, I'm only a teenager and whether or not we get a new computer is not up to me. It's all up the the higher powers.
The reason I haven't been posting is not that I have nothing to say. (There were a lot of negatives in that sentence.) I have an abundance of things I would like to say, and many many things I would like to talk about. But sadly, seeing as I'm in a third block study hall with 30 minutes or so left until lunch, I have neither the means, time, or opportunity to get it all out there.
Lately, my personality/mood has been on a bizarre balancing act. On one hand, I've got really good friends, a great romantic relationship (for once) and good grades. On the other, my sister has been growing increasingly suicidal and it's Tech Week. My parents are constantly at each other's throats, and I suppose you can see, dear reader, why that would not help. And then there's the mounting collegiate pressure. "So-and-so is applying to X university and these schools, where are you going?" "What are you gonna do with your life?" "I'm already looking at colleges in the Boston area." "So the difference between a BA and a BFA is..."
I don't want to know. I'm too intimidated to find out. There are so many people who look boldly into the cauldron of the world, call out, waiting for a response - a call to arms, an adventure, something. I call out and run away, because I'm afraid of what I might find.
I'm being pulled in so many directions, I feel like I'm being ripped apart at the seams. There are only one or two things holding me together, though I still feel like I may burst.
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